Tuesday, December 4, 2007

journal 1

Jesus,

Thanks for this day. You always know exactly what my soul needs—all those beautiful women and their children…what a gift.

Never let me forget that I am called to be Your hands, Your feet, Your mouth, Your heart—continue teaching me how to love, really love. Generous true love.

Today I could have given myself so much more—I could have loved more, I could have given more in the time I had, I could have reached out more…I’m really sorry for not giving all that I could. I need your grace to do better tomorrow. Charity, self-denial and generosity—I need all these.

Never allow me to forget what touched my soul so deeply today—

One of the clients of the Women’s Day Shelter, Misty, verbalized what I have known since I was 5. “it means so much to see y’all here today—it really makes us feel like people care about us, ‘cause in the eyes of society we’re not nothin’ to anybody. So seein’ all you young people coming here today to help us, really makes us feel like we’re worth somethin’.”

Jesus, that was you.

I saw you everywhere today—in the eyes of some many women worrying about where they would sleep, sleeping on the couches so they could watch over their babies that night and keep them safe…how many times today did I take meeting you for granted, how many times did I not give you my full smile because of the “differences” I saw? I’m sorry for taking you for granted today.

Today was the best way to open my heart for Advent—open my eyes to the gunk I need to clear out of my heart so I can prepare it for Your birth—I want it to be nice and soft and cozy so its not more of a shock coming into our world.

I love you so much—thank you for loving me.